Ha!

File this under what my grandfather terms "Can't win for losing":

"Ozone Hole Recovery May Amplify Antarctic Warming"

Greenies then: "OMG! There's a hole in the ozone! The penguins will fry and the ice caps will melt!"

Greenies now: "OMG! There's no hole in the ozone! The penguins will fry and the ice caps will melt!"

I plan to go buy a can of hairspray, stand out in the yard, and hold down the button till it's empty. For the penguins.