Yeah, I know I haven't been posting much lately. Life's been busy lately, and stress-making too. Of course, most of it I do to myself: I procrastinate on my schoolwork, then sweat blood getting it all done. I'm also much more involved with church stuff lately: Monday night, Philosophy and Christianity class; Tuesday night, Community Group; Wednesday night, Grad Student Group; Thursday night, Choir. So that leaves me pretty tired in the evenings and not feeling very bloggy.
Still, for many of my friends this is the only consistent point of contact with me. And this is also a place I can ruminate in a way I don't typically do in conversation. I've been ruminating a good bit lately, but mostly confused half-thoughts that never form anything coherent. I wrote at the beginning of the semester, jokingly, that this would be the Winter of My Discontent. That statement has proven annoyingly prescient. I've felt unsettled lately, mainly with myself and my own abilities. I am reminded with uncomfortable frequency of my own weaknesses and limitations, my psychological hangups and bad habits. Maybe it's the time of year, or the time of my life, or the time of my academic year and career: I feel like I'm deep in the middle of a change, only I can't see the end from here and I'm afraid I won't be strong enough to get there.
But I have good friends here, and that helps immensely. Life is a hard slog, but we can't wear our armor all the time. It's good to have people I can disclose myself to, who understand or, not understanding, still listen and sympathize. Without my circle of friends, I'd be lost here in Athens; but with them, it becomes home.
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