It's a Magical Land

One Saturday a couple of weeks ago, Katie and I decided to get out of Athens: the Dawgs were entertaining guests between the hedges, and getting around town during a game can be inconvenient. We headed north, to the mountains. Our destination: Helen, Georgia's ersatz Alpine wonderland.

Helen is a funny town: it wasn't, so far as I could tell, settled by Germans or founded by a German. Instead, sometime in the late '60s, the Helenians (Helenes?) decided to resurrect their dying lumber town by turning it into a tourist destination.

In 1968, local businessmen met to discuss what could be done to improve their town. They approached a nearby artist friend, who had been stationed in Germany. He sketched the buildings, added gingerbread trim, details and colors to the buildings, giving an Alpine look to the entire town. In January 1969, business owners and local carpenters began turning ideas into reality. Now all downtown stores have been renovated and many buildings and cobblestone alleyways added.

It worked. Now Helen is one of the preeminent tourist destinations of north Georgia, a sort of miniature Appalachian hybrid of Panama City and the Germany Pavilion at Epcot.

(A Helene Dialogue:

Me: Helen is a Hillbilly Panama City!
Katie: No, Gatlinburg is Hillbilly Panama City.
Me: Isn't Gatlinburg Hillbilly Vegas?
Katie: Oh. Right.

Finis.)

As fun as Helen is, I have one pedantic quibble: namely, that they can't seem to decide which of the Teutonic nations they're meant to embody. Are they German? Are they Dutch? Are they Norwegian? Do they know there's a difference? Do they care?



In addition to its ambiguous pan-Germanicism, Helen also affects an overt "fairytale" ambiance, complete with a Hansel and Gretel candy shop. Diagon Alley is more subtle than this town.


Given my previous exposure to such a treacly atmosphere, it should not be surprising that the first time I glanced at this sign, I read it wrong:

It actually said this:

Turns out the Unicoi state park doesn't have any unicorns, but it does have a pretty neat waterfall. Downside: you have to walk about half a mile uphill to get there, on a slope pretty close to a 45-degree angle. Still, the waterfall was impressive and the view back down the gorge was lovely.





And we saw puppies in a shop. Aw.