The Honorable Judge Seuss, Presiding

Most of us shake our heads in disgusted incredulity at the rulings of judges these days. This is a ruling I can support, however, both in style and substance: Judge Makes 'Green Eggs and Ham' Ruling.

A federal judge was driven to rhyme after receiving a hard-boiled egg in the mail from a prison inmate protesting his diet. U.S. District Court Judge James Muirhead reached for Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" for inspiration after getting the egg from inmate Charles Jay Wolff.

"I do not like eggs in the file," Muirhead wrote. "I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled/Despite an argument well-rambled."

He then ordered the egg destroyed: "No fan I am/Of the egg at hand. Destroy that egg! Today! Today! Today I say! Without delay!"

Wolff, convicted of sexually assaulting a seven-year-old girl, is demanding $10 million dollars from the New Hampshire Department of Corrections: he is given hard-boiled eggs when he demands kosher food, and he doesn't like hard-boiled eggs. The judge's refusal to back up Wolff's complaint seems, to my mind, to contain the proper amount of mocking contempt.